Thursday, July 29, 2010

Fight or flight ...

Or plan?

You know how there's a survival instinct? And people are supposed to have either fight or flight?

Well, today, I hereby propose a third survival instinct -- plan.

When faced with a crisis, especially when I am in charge, I have realized that I remain surprisingly calm.

I haven't a clue where this comes from... because I can panic and freeze like nobody's business. We're talking full on, deer in the headlights, panic.

But if I'm the lone adult or solo, I remain unfazed.

Case in point, yesterday:
It's 90 degrees.
I pull up to the house with Ben.
I can hear the dogs barking.
Brian has left for work.
And I have friends coming over in 45 minutes.
...and I am locked out.

Yep. Locked out of my own house.

Did you notice it's 90 degrees and I have friends coming over? In 45 minutes!


So my brain goes into over drive -- immediately formulating plans A, B, C, D
* call brian
* check the garage, there's water in there. so get a drink for ben.
* check the windows. no, they are all locked b/c your brain went into overdrive last week when you left for Cleveland and you had to check every single one. (moron!)
* don't bend the frames! just pop out the screens b/c you know how to replace them. (the tool is in the junk drawer on the left -- it's the plastic one. you should have paid the extra $0.79 cents for the wooden one, but that's water under the bridge now.)
* the one window by the kitchen table gets steamy -- must have a bad seal, right? try that one.
* get ben, bring him in to the back yard. check for dog poop. careful.
* (wait! why did my hydrangeas change color? too much rain? I need to move those.)
* bubbles! thank goodness i left them on the porch. Here, Ben! Bubbles!
* is that? it is! the window above the kitchen sink is open!
* pull the screen... seriously!? it won't pull out?! ... get a rock, scrape the screen. pull the screen out. (don't worry, you have more screen in the garage by the step. and it's, like $4.44 a roll at Lowe's. don't stress.)
* ok, got the screen out. now.. just... hoist! just hoist!
* plan B... wait, what are we on now, like plan f?
focus, Sy, focus.
* get the chair and just hoist...
* OMG, when will this be over!?!?!
* Ok, right foot in the window and right arm in the window. and... yes ben, mommy's ok. just keep blowing bubble. keep blowing bubbles!
* aaaaand we're in!
* oh wait! i'm in the sink. I'm in the sink!
* Now I'm in! woo hoo!
Ben! We're home!

Phew! That was A LOT! I'm exhausted just reading through it agin.

Now, for plan Q -- give a spare key to the neighbors!

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